Toni-Ann is a wife, mom of two boys, dentist, and blogger at Real Happy Mom. She frequently gets lost because of a bad sense of direction. As a result, she enjoys being at home playing with the kids and watching WWE. Toni-Ann is passionate about helping other mothers and has created a 5 day self care challenge to help moms go from grumpy mom to happy mom.
Like a belly button, mom guilt is something all mothers experience. We all feel it at different times. But sometimes we are unable to shake off these feelings.
Which leaves us walking around feeling like we are not giving out kids the best or we are depriving our kids. Or worst, you are not a good mother. What you are feeling is real, but it doesn’t have to be your truth.
I wish I could tell you that mom guilt will go away. Unfortunately, it doesn’t. However, there are ways to combat mom guilt so that those feelings don’t take over and get you down.
When the guilt starts to come up, remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing.
For instance, you have to go to work and leave your baby with a nanny or daycare. Remind yourself of why. Remind yourself that you are leaving your baby with an awesome caretaker so that you can go to work to pay the bills.
Putting your mind in the right perspective will keep mom guilt from taking over and ruining your day.
Mom guilt loves to creep in when you want to leave your kids to workout too. Again, remind yourself of why.
If you don’t exercise regularly you will easily develop preventable diseases. Or worst, your health gets so bad that you are unable to care for your kids.
You should never let guilt win when it comes to taking care of yourself. You have to take care of yourself in order to be a good mom.
Remember the flight attendant says during the presentation, put your oxygen mask on first before assisting others.
Give Yourself Grace
This thing called motherhood is hard. It is fun, beautiful, but hard at times.
Not only are you juggling being a mother, but have other roles like wife, housekeeper, manager or CEO, best friend and the list goes on.
Sometimes you will forget it is pajama day at school or has to choose to be at work for a special meeting instead of being there for your child’s first day of school.
It is okay. I promise. You need to give yourself a little grace.
Unfortunately, the perfect mom does not exist. So you can stop trying to be like this perfect mom that is not even real.
You will forget sometimes. Your house may be a wreck. But you are still an awesome mom.
Ask Yourself a Few Questions
When you are pressed with making a decision and you can feel the onset of mom guilt ask yourself two questions: Will I regret doing this later? Is this really important?
Will I regret Doing this Later?
If volunteering for the school PTA is something you have no desire to be a part of and will end up regretting later because Suzie’s mom asked you, then you should feel better about saying no when asked to join.
Do not do something that you know you will regret later. It never turns out good. If you are ever pressed with a question that makes you feel like you have to give a certain answer in order to be a good mom, stop.
Tell the person that you will get back to them later with your response. Give yourself time to really think if this is something you will regret later before you make a decision.
Is this Really Important?
If your daughter is constantly asking you to play with her even though she sees you trying to stop a leak from the dishwasher, ask yourself “is what I’m going really important.”
Putting things into perspective will help combat that mom guilt that wants to creep up when your daughter gets mad at you.
Let it Go
Sometimes you have to let go of task to get what is important done. I know you like to think that you are superwoman. But you’re not.
Ask for help. Start taking things off your to-do list that are not important or delegate them to someone else.
Freeing yourself and letting things go will take the pressure off of you, which will keep the guilt a bay.
You’re an Awesome Mom
Remember, parenting is not perfection. Even the perfect mom in the neighborhood is not perfect.
We are human beings and you are raising human beings. You will make mistakes. And that is okay. You are still an awesome mom.
Yes, the feelings of mom guilt are real. But you don’t have to let the guilt take over. Remember to put your mind in the right perspective by remembering why and asking yourself those two questions: Will I regret doing this later? Is this really important?
At the end of the day, give yourself and let it go. You’re an awesome mom.