Breaking the Bond

I’ve read a lot of articles about breast feeding and pumping. There are so many options when it comes to feeding your baby.

Do you want to exclusively breast feed? This can’t happen if you’re a mother whose going back to work.

Do you want to exclusively pump? This means no bond of breast feeding.

Do you want to do both? This is the ideal for the working mom. Breastfeeding when at home and pumping at work.

Do you just want to do formula? This is the more expensive way but gives the mother more freedom as well.

Until last Tuesday, I had been doing three different things. I would breastfeed whenever when I was with Kayleigh and pump when it as at work. However, I was not pumping as much as Kayleigh was eating, so I ended up having to half supplement with formula in half of the bottle. I loved the bond that I had been getting when I was breast feeding. Not to mention, it was more convenient in the middle of the night to just throw out a boob whenever Kayleigh was hungry instead of making a bottle.

On Tuesday, my doctor said that Kayleigh should be sleeping through the night and she needs more nutrients to get more sleep both at night and during the day. This meant that my breast milk wasn’t giving her enough fatty, fulfilling nutrients and we needed more. I have since turned to exclusively pumping. I have a lot more milk in the refrigerator, but she has slept a little more. She still wakes up for one feeding, but not the five she was doing before.

In the articles that I had read, weaning baby off your breast was all about weaning you off of the bond you had while breastfeeding. Sometimes I feel like I do miss having Kayleigh so close, but most of the time I just think about how happy I am that I am much more free now. I may need to pump, but that drains both of my breasts at one time and I can sleep longer without getting in pain from one full breast. Personally, I feel like I’m not breaking the bond, I’m forming one between myself and my freedom as a mother.

-Trying not to go crazy,


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